My words mean nothing
I could never tell you
What you did to me
Or how far the damage has spread
I can’t explain to you
How I still love you
But I no longer care about you
How you still mean so much to me
But I’ve given up on ever meaning anything to you
I’m not who you think I am
The glimpses I’ve given you of the true me
Pale in comparison to the reality in its entirety
I’m not what you think I am
You have no idea the gravity of my mistakes
The hopelessness I’ve felt
How close I’ve been to losing it all
So many times
But there are no words to tell you this
Since the last thing  I want is to hurt you like I’ve been hurting
For so long
And that’s all I could do with the words I’m coming up with
And even the things I could say would only mask the truth
Only show you a fraction of how much you’ve hurt me
With the things you’ve said
Or not said
The times you lied
And I knew
The things you believed
When I knew the whole truth
How frustrated I’ve gotten
With the stupid little things you’ve done
How avoidable your mistakes could have been
If you had only listened to the words I did say
Sometimes maybe they were said too late
But you never listened anyway
Never heard the truth
In what I said
So why would you now?
Even if I could find the words
And the courage to say them